


Hunters of SHIELD - Episode 2: Trickery and Deception

by Frappalappacino



Series: Hunters of SHIELD [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frappalappacino/pseuds/Frappalappacino
Summary: The SHIELD team, along with their new companions the Winchesters and Castiel, encounter a dangerous enemy. After a disaster occurs, they must learn to work together.
Series: Hunters of SHIELD [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112081
Kudos: 2





	Hunters of SHIELD - Episode 2: Trickery and Deception

**Author's Note:**

> This follows on directly after the last episode - if you haven't read it, go check it out! 
> 
> I've spaced this out a bit more so it should be easier to read. 
> 
> Hopefully there'll be another episode soon!

Hunters of SHIELD

Episode 2 – Trickery and Deception 

INT., The Playground – Laboratory, Morning  
Castiel, Balthazar, Fitz and Simmons appear. Simmons stumbles back, and Fitz just manages to hold in his vomit.  
Balthazar drunkenly wanders around. 

Balthazar:  
Look at this place, Cassy! With all the thingy-majigs and doo-dads! Oo, what’s this?

He picks up a syringe and squirts it everywhere. Simmons takes it off of him. 

Simmons:  
You’re going to be feeling a little out of sorts, Mr. Balthazar. I suggest you let us escort you to the containment room now, before you hurt yourself. 

Balthazar:  
Lead on!

She puts a hand on his shoulder and they exit.  
Fitz looks at Castiel. 

Fitz:  
This Balthazar guy, he’s not dangerous, is he?

Castiel:  
Simmons will be safe. We should inform Sam and Dean that we have made a new ally. 

Fitz:  
First, we need to tell Coulson that we’re back safe. And he’ll want to know that we now have two angels on base. 

Mack and Daisy run into the lab. 

Daisy:  
Fitz! Oh my God, you’re OK! Where’s Simmons?

Castiel:  
We have captured a new ally. Simmons is escorting him to containment.

Mack:  
You mean you brought another freak back? Damn it, Fitz! We can’t even deal with this one yet!

Fitz:  
This was most certainly not my choice! I was kidnapped! And then Jemma shot the guy!

Daisy:  
She shot him? Woo, go girl! I mean, that’s terrible, but he’s an angel, right? So he’s just kinda drunk?

Castiel:  
It is not a pleasant experience. 

Mack:  
Both of you follow me. Coulson’s going to want to see you. 

INT., Coulson’s Office, Morning  
Coulson is watching the screen in his office, which has a world map lit up on it. Dots of light pulsate in different areas, mainly in the US. 

Mack, Fitz, Daisy and Castiel enter. 

Coulson:  
Where’s Simmons?

Mack:  
She’s alright – she went down to containment.

Daisy:  
They brought back another angel-dude. 

Castiel:  
Technically speaking, angels do not have genders. 

Coulson:  
Didn’t you say that you don’t get along well with your family?

Castiel:  
Balthazar does not associate with the others either. He usually keeps to himself. 

Daisy:  
So do you think he’ll help us or not?

Castiel:  
Your Agent Simmons did not give him the choice. 

Fitz:  
Well, he did say he was going to sacrifice the entire human race, so Jemma was perfectly justified to ice him. 

Coulson:  
Justified or not, you can’t kidnap my agents, Castiel. That’s not how SHIELD works. I think we need to set some ground rules. 

Sam and Dean enter. Dean’s leg is bandaged, and he walks with a limp. 

Sam:  
We heard that Cas was back. 

Coulson:  
Perfect timing. We’re were just discussing rules whilst you guys are staying at SHIELD. 

Dean:  
OK, before you say anything, that pie did not have a label on it, so it was fair gain. 

Mack glares at him. 

Mack:  
You ate my pie? Coulson, this is not alright. 

Dean:  
Look, man, it was a long night. If a man can’t get pie after being stabbed, what’s the point in the whole save-the-world business?

Coulson:  
I feel like you’re missing the point, but let’s ignore that for now. Rule Number One: no kidnapping my agents. 

Fitz:  
Thank you. 

Castiel:  
I am sorry if I offended you, Fitz.

Fitz:  
Just don’t do it again. My head’s still spinning. And it’s going to take me weeks to work out all the physics behind that stunt. 

Coulson:  
Rule Number Two: someone must be watching the angels at all times. 

Dean:  
That’s never going to work. 

Fitz:  
I’ll need a day to install some new hardware in the containment rooms. We should be able to counteract Castiel’s powers after that. 

Castiel raises an eyebrow. 

Coulson:  
Alright. And Rule Number Three: no pie-stealing. Got it?

Mack grins. 

Dean:  
I’m not liking this whole cooperation business. Sam and I would be better off alone. 

Daisy:  
So last night you would have driven all the way to Washington in your clown car?

Dean:  
Don’t you talk about my baby like that! 

Sam holds him back. Daisy raises an eyebrow. 

Castiel:  
I should talk to Balthazar now. He’ll be very confused. And afraid. 

Fitz:  
I’ll go with him. 

Coulson nods, and Fitz and Castiel leave. 

Daisy:  
I’ve been getting some more hits on my tracking program. They’re all over the world, but there’s a large group sixty miles west of here.

Sam:  
Let me take a look. We might be able to predict their next move. 

Coulson:  
Good idea. Mack, work with Dean and see if you can develop some more weapons that’ll work against these angels. 

Mack:  
Him? Really? You heard the whole pie thing, right?

Dean:  
Yeah, it was delicious. I’ve never tasted pastry like that before. So good!

Mack glares at him. Dean slaps him on the back. 

INT., Containment Room, Morning  
Simmons takes a cheek swab from Balthazar as Fitz and Castiel enter. 

Balthazar:  
Cassy! Watch out for the fairies, my man. Come on, give him some space, Goddamn you!

Castiel:  
They’re butterflies, not fairies. 

Simmons:  
I did give Balthazar a few more doses of dendrotoxins than you. But don’t worry, he seems perfectly stable.

Castiel:  
Balthazar, I came to ask for your assistance. We must find our brothers and sisters, and lead them back to Heaven. 

Balthazar stands up, and hugs Cas. He starts crying. Castiel frowns. 

Fitz:  
Perfectly stable, Jemma?

Balthazar:  
I’ve missed you so much! You never called! You never visited! I thought you’d forgotten me. 

Castiel:  
You have never expressed these feelings to me before. I thought you disapproved of me. 

Balthazar:  
Disapprove? How could I disapprove of that handsome face? But you ran off with Dean and I thought you were gone forever!

Fitz:  
This is weird. Jemma, how many times did you ice him?

Simmons:  
I don’t think I have to answer that. He’s a dangerous man and I was here all alone and – 

She catches Fitz raising his eyebrows at her. 

Simmons:  
I’ve honestly lost count. 

EXT., Clearing in the Woods, Day  
Ambriel approaches Metatron, and clears her throat to get his attention. 

Metatron:  
What is it? Have you found him?

Ambriel:  
Quite possibly, but we’re not sure. 

Metatron:  
What do you mean you’re ‘not sure’? It’s either the lying, treacherous Winchester lapdog or it’s just another snivelling angel. 

Ambriel:  
We think that Castiel made contact with Balthazar. 

Metatron:  
Balthazar? At least we know how desperate he is now. Are the Winchester boys with him?

Ambriel:  
We’re not sure. 

Metatron:  
Oh, spit it out already!

Ambriel:  
They’re in a secret government facility – SHIELD. There’s no way the Winchesters would have gone there willingly. 

Metatron:  
If they’ve been captured, that will make this so much easier. God save bureaucracy! Rally the troops. I smell revenge. 

Ambriel:  
Revenge isn’t a scent, sir. It’s an abstract concept. 

Metatron:  
Way to ruin a moment, Ambriel! 

INT., The Playground – Computer Room, Day  
Sam and Daisy sit next to each other at computers. 

Sam:  
This is the group you were telling us about?

He points to a collection of dots on his screen. She nods. 

Daisy:  
They’ve been sitting around for a while, which is suspicious, because all the other groups we’re tracking keep fighting each other. 

Sam:  
And this is the biggest group?

Daisy:  
Yep. Thirty-eight magic dots. Are they even magic? Or is it ‘holy’?

Sam:  
I think the word Cas uses is ‘celestial’. 

Daisy turns away from her screen and looks at him. 

Daisy:  
So you really believe the whole heavenly-angel-warrior crap? 

Sam:  
I didn’t at first. But I’ve been around them long enough to know the truth. 

Someone at a desk opposite them leans back on their chair, and it almost rocks over. 

Daisy:  
Is that you, Hunter? What are you doing here?

Hunter pulls back his hood. 

Sam:  
You’re spying on me, aren’t you?

Hunter:  
No. Yes. Maybe. Doesn’t matter, you can’t prove anything anyway. 

Sam:  
Is this about Jess?

Hunter:  
See? There it is! That’s not her name anymore, Hagrid. It’s Bobbi now. 

Daisy:  
Sam. 

She points to her screen. Some of the dots are disappearing from the forest. 

Sam:  
Where are they going?

Daisy:  
It looks like - here. Sh*t.

INT., The Playground – Workshop, Day  
Mack, wearing a welding apron, gloves and mask, holds up an angel blade. Dean leans on the workbench, his arms folded. 

Dean:  
This ain’t going to work, pal. 

Mack:  
You don’t know that for sure. 

Dean:  
I do know some things for sure, though. Like that angel blades aren’t made of normal metal. And they sure as Hell aren’t going to melt.

Mack:  
Well, I’m going to melt something today, and if you keep talking, it’s gonna be you, Hop-Along. 

Dean puts his hands up and shrugs.  
Mack lowers the angel blade into the furnace.

Daisy’s voice is heard over the intercom.  
Daisy:  
I got some good news and some bad news. Good news is, there aren’t any angels camped near our base any more. Bad news is, they’re coming here. I’m going to go ahead and suggest we all start running.

Dean looks at Mack, then slaps him on the back. 

Dean:  
You heard the girl. 

He sprints away. 

INT., Containment Room, Day  
Castiel and Balthazar sit on the sofa, whilst Fitz works on his tablet, and Simmons analyses her samples at the table. 

Balthazar:  
I’m not sure I like your new little human pets, Cassy. 

Castiel:  
What do you mean?

Balthazar:  
Well, one of them keeps shooting me, and the other one looks at me weirdly. 

Fitz:  
I do not!

He turns to look at the angels. His eyes bug out, he realises, and then turns back. 

Simmons:  
Fitz, be nice. 

Fitz:  
You’re the one shooting him! I’m fairly certain that’s worse. 

Castiel:  
It is indeed, much worse. 

Metatron and Ambriel appear in the middle of the room. Castiel stands up. Fitz stumbles back and almost drops his tablet. Simmons holds up her icer. 

Metatron:  
Greetings, all. 

INT., Corridor outside the lab, Day  
Coulson and May walk side by side. 

Coulson:  
Get the hangar doors open. I want the Quinn-jets and Zephyr ready to launch. 

May:  
We’re evacuating?

Coulson:  
We fought these guys before, when we were prepared. I don’t like our odds right now. 

Daisy and Sam rush round the corner. Daisy carries a laptop. 

Daisy:  
Not counting Castiel and Balthazar, there are thirty-eight hostiles in the building. 

Coulson:  
Find as many people as you can and get them to the hangar. If you see any angels, run. Do not engage. 

Daisy:  
Copy that. Come with me, big guy. 

She pulls Sam down the corridor with her. 

May:  
We’ll be giving up the base. 

Coulson:  
I know. I don’t like it either. But it’s our only option right now. 

INT., Corridor outside the bunks, Day  
Dean and Mack run down the corridor, Dean a little slower with his limp. Mack stops at every door, opening it up and checking inside. Dean carries an angel blade. 

Dean:  
What are you doing, man? We haven’t got time, come on!

Mack:  
I’m not leaving anyone behind. 

Dean:  
You SHIELD guys just don’t understand self-preservation, do you?

Two angels appear at the end of the corridor. They spot Dean, and head straight for him. 

Dean:  
Ah, great! Now you’re going to get me killed to. 

Mack:  
From what I hear, that’s not really possible. 

Both angels attack Dean, and he struggles to block both their blades. Mack grabs one of them, and throws him at the wall. Whilst the angel is stunned, Mack snatches the hilt of the blade, and wrestles to grab it.  
Dean punches his opponent in the nose, then lunges, but the angel just manages to block it.  
Mack successfully wrenches the blade from his opponent’s grasp, and goes for the kill, but hesitates. 

Dean:  
What are you doing, man? Kill him!

But before Mack can answer, the angel smokes out and the vessel drops to the floor.  
Dean stabs his opponent, and light flares from its eyes. The body slumps to the floor. 

INT., Containment Room, Day  
The scene is the same as we left it before: Metatron and Ambriel stand in the centre of the room, whilst Balthazar sits at the table, and Castiel stands. Fitz cowers back and Simmons aims her icer. 

Castiel:  
Metatron. 

Metatron:  
I’ll get to you in a moment Castiel. First, I’ll need to dispose of the primates. 

He throws Fitz and Simmons to the wall. Simmons drops her icer. 

Balthazar:  
Again, again!

Metatron looks at Balthazar, who leans back on his chair and almost falls off, then to Fitz and Simmons. 

Metatron:  
What have you done to him?

Simmons:  
If you put me down, I’ll show you. 

Metatron:  
I don’t think so. 

Castiel:  
They are powerful sorcerers. If you try to hurt them, they will destroy you. 

Fitz nods. Simmons scowls unconvincingly. 

Metatron:  
Sorcerers of what, exactly?

Fitz:  
A dark and powerful magic. 

Simmons:  
We can make you very sick, with just a flick of the wrist.

Fitz:  
And we can make you see imaginary things. 

Metatron looks at Balthazar. Fitz and Simmons nod slowly. 

Ambriel:  
The humans don’t matter. It’s Castiel we came for. 

Metatron advances towards Castiel. He drops Fitz and Simmons, who fall to the floor gasping. 

Metatron:  
There are a lot of people who would like the honour of killing you. I’ll be the source of much jealousy. 

He pulls out an angel blade. Castiel takes a step back, glancing around for a weapon.  
Then Simmons shoots Metatron with her icer. 

Fitz:  
Go, Cas!

Ambriel rushes towards Fitz and Simmons, and Simmons ices her too.  
Castiel grabs Balthazar, takes one last look at the scientists, and disappears.

INT., Control Room - The Zephyr, Day  
The remaining agents gather together. Coulson, May, Daisy, Hunter, Bobbi, Mack and the Winchesters cast their heads down. 

Sam:  
We have a base, not far from here. 

Hunter:  
We had a base, and we still would if you hadn’t brought the freaky trench coat guy. 

Dean:  
And now where is he, huh? If you idiots got him killed, I swear I’m gonna – 

Daisy:  
What? You think you can take us all on, tough guy? 

Coulson:  
Now’s not the time for passing the blame around. We have to count our losses, regroup, and make a new plan. 

Mack:  
How are we supposed to plan against those things? They can appear from anywhere. For all we know, they could be tracking us right now. 

Bobbi:  
That’s why I called Sam and Dean in. 

Dean:  
Yeah, exactly, Not-Jess. We know what we’re up against, and we’re up against a Hell of a lot right now. 

Sam:  
To be honest, I’m not quite sure how we’re supposed to defeat the whole of heaven. 

Hunter:  
So the man with the plan… doesn’t actually have a plan? 

Coulson:  
He doesn’t need to, not right now. But he does have a start. That base, Mr. Winchester?

Sam:  
I’ll write down the coordinates. 

Daisy:  
And I’ll make contact with the Quinn-jets, make sure they’re following.

Bobbi:  
Hunter and I will make a list of all the equipment and weaponry we have on board. 

Mack:  
I’m going to make the rounds, see who’s missing. 

Each of them walks off to do their tasks. 

Dean:  
I hate how organised this freakin’ organisation is! 

INT., The Playground – Laboratory – Day  
Metatron looks around the lab, picking up and examining various pieces of equipment.  
Two angels bring Fitz and Simmons in, with their hands tied behind their backs. 

Metatron:  
Greetings. I hope you’re having a frightful time in my custody. 

Fitz:  
Actually, this has been one of the better imprisonments we’ve experienced. 

Simmons:  
I think I’d even say this is the best. And we’ve done this a lot. 

Metatron:  
I can promise it will worsen dramatically if you do not comply. 

Simmons:  
And let me guess: our compliance will be rewarded? 

Metatron:  
If you count a quick and painless death as a reward. I need you to show me how this equipment works, so I can use it to destroy my competition. 

Fitz:  
Or else what?

Metatron:  
Or else I’ll get one of my angels to use you as a vessel, then you can watch as you kill your friends. 

Simmons:  
But if we tell you how to use our weapons, you’ll kill our friends anyway. 

Metatron:  
Only if they stand in my way. 

Fitz:  
They do have a habit of doing that to people like you. 

Metatron:  
There are no people like me! I’m an all-powerful angel, and I will destroy every feeble, snivelling primate on this planet if they oppose me!

Fitz and Simmons glance at each other. 

Simmons:  
We’ll need a moment to discuss your proposals. 

INT., The Bunker – The War Room, Day  
Agents hurry around the room, carrying equipment and tablets. Sam and Dean watch the transformation happening with unease. 

Dean:  
They’re like ants, swarming all over the place with crushable little heads. 

Sam:  
They’re certainly efficient. 

Dean spots an agent carrying the Colt. 

Dean:  
Hey, hey, hey! Put that back!

The agents looks at Dean, then at the gun, then shrugs and walks off. 

Dean:  
There’s too many of them, Sam. I thought we’d take back control once we got here, but now it’s an infestation!

Sam:  
I’m meeting with Coulson in a bit, to make a plan. You could join us, if you wanted.

Dean:  
Nah. I’m going to keep an eye on this lot. They’ve screwed things up enough already. 

Sam:  
Suit yourself. 

Sam exits. Dean catches a glimpse of May ordering some agents around. He walks over, smiling. 

Dean:  
Got any orders for me, ma’am?

May:  
Yeah. You can tell me why you’ve been staring at me all day. 

Dean:  
Wanted to see if you noticed. 

May:  
I take it most people ignore you. 

Dean:  
I wouldn’t say most people…

May:  
Makes sense. Your brother’s clearly the brains and the brawn. You’re just the - 

Dean:  
\- good looks and charm. 

May:  
I was going to say distraction. 

Dean:  
Are you feeling distracted, Agent May?

May:  
I wouldn’t say distracted. Nauseous, maybe. 

INT., The Bunker – The Library, Day  
Bobbi, Hunter and Mack are standing in the doorway, watching Dean flirting with May. 

Hunter:  
Now that is unsettling. 

Bobbi:  
I agree. Something has to be done. 

Mack:  
Ah, come on guys. You don’t seriously think he’s in with a chance?

Bobbi:  
No, I just fear for the integrity of his nose bone when he fails. 

Hunter:  
I don’t know. It would be entertaining. 

Mack:  
I’m more worried about the fact that he’s distracting our best agent. 

Bobbi:  
She needs extraction. 

Hunter watches Dean yell at an agent moving things around.

Hunter:  
I might have an idea.

INT., The Playground – the Lab, Day  
Fitz and Simmons turn their backs to Metatron. 

Fitz:  
The bit about destroying primates hurt. 

Simmons:  
Yes, I saw you tense up a bit. But I think we should help him. 

Fitz:  
Jemma, I did not have you down as a mutineer. We’re not helping him take over the world!

Simmons:  
Yes, but think of our position here, Fitz! He think we’re wizards. 

Fitz:  
Yes. Sly, tactful little wizards. 

Simmons:  
Wizards who can teach him of all the magical items in our possession. 

Fitz:  
Powerful, magical items. I see where you’re going with this. 

They nod to each other, and turn back to Metatron. 

Simmons:  
We have decided to assist you, Mr Metatron. 

Metatron:  
A wise choice. Now, point me towards your most powerful weapon. 

Fitz:  
Ah, well, that will be the Glasses of Capuchin. 

Simmons:  
You weren’t supposed to tell him about them, Fitz!

He casts a worried sideways glance, then turns back.  
He picks up a pair of lab goggles from the desk. 

Simmons:  
Don’t tell him! This could be the end!

Metatron:  
Tell me. 

Fitz:  
The wearer of these goggles can see a few moments into the future!

Simmons sighs and covers her face with her hands.  
Fitz hands Metatron the goggles. Metatron puts them on. 

Metatron:  
Nothing happened! They don’t work!

Fitz:  
See that’s the best thing. They only obey their master sorcerer. Those gog – Glasses of Capuchin belong to me, so they’ll only work for my eyes. 

Metatron reluctantly hands the goggles back to Fitz. He puts them on. 

Fitz:  
Yes, Metatron. I can make you your own pair. 

Metatron:  
How did you – oh, the Glasses. Please, anything you need, you will have. 

Fitz:  
First I need a strand of your hair. 

He yanks at Metatron’s hair, then pulls out a few strands. 

Fitz:  
It’s a long and complicated process, with many magic spells and incantations. I’ll need use of the lab for a day or so. 

Metatron:  
Of course. Soon, I will be unstoppable!

INT., The Bunker – The Library, Night  
Sam and Coulson sit beside each other in a secluded part of the library. On the table, there are various maps of the base and other papers.

Coulson:  
OK, so I can see from that disgruntled look on your face that you think this is going to be a difficult mission. I agree. But if we work together, I think it’s doable.

Sam:  
Well, you do have a small army here. 

Coulson:  
Unfortunately, so do they. 

Sam:  
They also have all the SHIELD tech and weaponry. Not to mention that your base is very defensible. 

Coulson:  
Only if you know someone’s coming. But there are some secrets they won’t know about. 

Sam:  
Are we talking secret doors? Because that would be cool. 

Coulson points to his office on the map. 

Coulson:  
Here, there’s a hidden entrance. It’s not big, but we could send a small team in that way. 

Sam:  
And the only other entrance is the hangar?

Coulson:  
Yes. Though I suspect it’ll still be open. To close it they would need a SHIELD lanyard. 

Sam:  
So we could land our main force there, in the big plane. 

Coulson:  
They’ll be pretty exposed. 

Sam:  
I guess it depends on whether the angels know how to fire guns. 

Coulson:  
I’ve also got two agents being held hostage. They’ll need an extraction team. 

Sam:  
And we still don’t know where Cas is. 

INT., The Bunker – The War Room, Night  
Someone knocks on the Bunker door. Dean goes to answer it. Several agents notice, and take out their guns ready.  
Dean unlocks the door, then takes a step back.  
Castiel enters, with Balthazar flung over his shoulder. 

Castiel:  
Hello, Dean. 

Dean:  
Cas! Where’ve you been?

The agents go back to their duties. Cas steps inside and Dean closes the door. 

Balthazar:  
Your dress is so long, Cassy! 

Balthazar pulls up Cas’ trench coat. Castiel dumps him on the floor. 

Castiel:  
Balthazar is still quite inebriated. 

Balthazar rolls over, groaning. 

Dean:  
How are you here, man? We thought you’d be in front of the whole of Heaven’s firing squad. 

Castiel:  
The British scientists saved me. 

Dean:  
You mean those two nerds took on Metatron?

Castiel:  
They are being held hostage. I don’t imagine they will last long. 

Dean:  
Well, it’s good to have you back, man. Things have been getting a little crazy around here. 

Castiel:  
Yes. I can see that. 

They look at the agents buzzing around the room. 

Castiel:  
I shall escort Balthazar to a bunk. It may be a while before the effects of the potion wear off. 

Castiel picks Balthazar up and marches off.

INT., The Bunker – Library, Night  
Bobbi and Hunter stand in a corner. Mack peaks around the door. 

Mack:  
That angel dude is back, and he brought the other one too. 

Hunter:  
The more the merrier. 

Mack:  
There’s May. And Dean’s spotted her. 

Bobbi:  
Alright, everyone, Operation Anthill is go. 

INT., The Bunker – War Room, Night  
Dean smirks and strolls towards May, who is talking to another agent.  
Hunter appears from nowhere and claps Dean on the back. 

Hunter:  
My man! What a match last night! Did you see it?

Dean:  
See what?

Hunter:  
The footy! Premier league? City vs Man U? Most outrageous penalty ever awarded?

Dean:  
I don’t watch soccer, man. 

Hunter:  
Well, let me convert you! You see, a penalty is awarded when someone is fouled in the box, but if you’re outside the box, then it’s – 

Dean:  
I don’t care, OK? Leave me alone. 

Hunter:  
Americans. Don’t know what’s good for them. 

He walks off, then puts his finger to his ear. 

Hunter:  
Bromance is dead. I repeat, bromance is dead. 

Hunter exits, and Dean gets closer to May.  
Then Bobbi struts up to him. 

Bobbi:  
Hey, Dean, is Sam around?

Dean:  
No, he’s talking with Coulson. 

Bobbi:  
Oh, good. It’s been kind of awkward with him around. I keep remembering all the weird, annoying stuff he used to do. 

Dean:  
Oh, trust me, he’s still weird and annoying. 

Bobbi:  
Does he still get up in the middle of night to look up facts about Ghandi? 

Dean:  
Is that what it is? I always thought he was – doing something else. 

Dean wiggles his eyebrows. Bobbi laughs. 

Bobbi:  
How long does he spend doing his hair these days?

Dean:  
About as long as he spends with his nose in a goddamn book!

Bobbi:  
How many doorframes has he broken doing pull-ups?

Dean:  
I’ve lost count. And did he always have that thing about toilet roll coming from the top?

Bobbi:  
We almost broke up about that! Does he still whine about all his problems like a baby?

Dean:  
Hey, the guy’s been through a lot. Give him a break. Your death really screwed him up. 

Bobbi:  
Sorry, I didn’t – 

Dean:  
Haven’t you got something you need to be doing?

Bobbi nods, and walks off. 

Bobbi:  
Lil’ Bro is down, I repeat, Lil’ Bro is down!

Dean finally gets to May. 

May:  
Not you again. 

Dean:  
You looked like you needed a special delivery of Winchester charm. 

Mack walks over, carrying a whole pile of old, leather-bound books. May sighs in relief. 

Mack:  
Hope I’m not interrupting anything. 

May:  
Please, go ahead. 

Mack:  
You see, the agents were clearing some space in the library, and they knocked a load of books over. 

Dean:  
Is that the Book of the Damned? You need to put that the Hell back, right now!

Mack:  
You see, everything kind of got mixed up in there. We don’t know where anything goes, and we wouldn’t want to put in the wrong place.

Dean:  
Give me those. 

Dean grabs the books off of Mack. 

Dean:  
I’ll sort them out in a minute. 

He turns back to May, and Mack is about to walk away defeated. Then Cas appears beside Dean. 

Castiel:  
Dean, they have invaded my room.

Dean hands the books back to Mack. 

Dean:  
I can get that sorted for you, Cas. 

INT., The Dungeon, Night  
Crowley sits chained to a chair in the middle of the room.  
Balthazar walks in, then frowns as he sees the demon. 

Balthazar:  
Crowley? What you doing here?

Crowley:  
You know how it is. Killed a few people, sold some souls, generally acted demonically, and now I’m locked up. 

Balthazar:  
Honestly, you say one word to the Winchester boys or their lapdog, and you end up half way around the world, doing something you never wanted to do, and high on some kind of potion!

Crowley:  
They gave you a potion?

Balthazar:  
It’s wearing off now, but phew! That was wild. How long have you been here?

Crowley:  
A few months. Nothing serious. 

Balthazar:  
And they just keep you chained up down here, in case – 

Crowley:  
In case they need to pester me about demon lore or whine about their latest adventure. 

Balthazar:  
That’s what happened to me too! Well, I’m not chained up. 

Crowley:  
Yet. 

Balthazar:  
But our dear friend Cassy kidnapped me to join in his latest conquest. 

Crowley:  
Oh really? And what was that exactly?

Balthazar:  
Defeating the forces of heaven, mainly to save his own metaphorical skin, I might add. 

Crowley:  
Defeating heaven? Without me?

Balthazar:  
I’m sure you’ll get a chance. 

There’s a moment of silence. 

Crowley:  
Any chance you’ll let me out?

Balthazar:  
Absolutely not. 

INT., The Playground – Lab, Day  
Fitz and Simmons enter, and Metatron storms over to them. 

Metatron:  
I’ve had my troops practising all night with the Earl Grey Sensory Enhancers, and they haven’t seen any improvements!

Simmons turns and whispers to Fitz. 

Simmons:  
Which one was that again?

Fitz:  
The sleep masks, I think. 

She turns back to Metatron. 

Simmons:  
I’m afraid your troops haven’t yet forged a powerful enough connection to the – 

Fitz:  
\- Earl Grey dimension. It takes time, but I promise it’s worth it. 

Metatron:  
I’ll be the judge of that. We’ve also seen minimal progress with the bonobo-enchanted guns you supplied us with. 

Fitz:  
Really? Well, your soldiers are clearly less celestial than we thought. 

Simmons:  
I’ll make sure to check on them when I get chance. 

Metatron:  
Now, how are my Glasses of Capuchin coming along?

Fitz:  
They’re almost done, but I do need one last thing to complete the spell. 

Metatron:  
Name it, and it shall be yours. 

Fitz:  
I need some time alone in here. This room has the greatest spiritual forces, and I’ll need to meditate for an hour to calibrate the Capuchin forces. 

Simmons:  
It’s a very specialised spell. Almost as much as the Incantation of Chamomile. 

Metatron:  
I did indeed see an improvement in my focus after that. Yes, take all the time you need. I’ll tell my troops to train harder. 

Metatron leaves, and Fitz and Simmons high-five. 

INT., The Bunker – Library, Day  
As Coulson and Sam are sat at their table discussing, Daisy approaches carrying her laptop. 

Coulson:  
Oh no. That’s your ‘I’ve found something’ face, but I can never tell whether it’s a good something, or a bad something. 

Daisy:  
It’s a weird something. 

She takes a seat next to Coulson. Sam looks over, interested. 

Daisy:  
So I spent yesterday hacking into our own surveillance systems – I did not make it easy for myself. Now that we have access to the cameras in the base, we can see what the angels are up to. 

Coulson:  
That’s a good thing, right?

Daisy:  
Well, yeah, but then… You know what? I don’t think I can explain this. You’ll have to see for yourself. 

She spins her laptop around so Coulson and Sam can see. On the screen, images from four different rooms show angels walking around with sleep masks on, wafting their arms about and walking into walls. 

Sam:  
You were right. It’s certainly weird. 

Daisy:  
There’s also this. 

She types something, and the camera flicks to the shooting range. 

Daisy:  
The guns are empty. None of them have actually fired a single bullet, but they’ve been trying all morning. 

Coulson:  
Would the angels know how to use guns?

Sam:  
Cas told us Metatron was leading them. He knows a fair bit about Earth. I’d have thought he’d be able to shoot. 

Coulson:  
Any signs of Fitz-Simmons?

Daisy:  
I’ve seen them walking through corridors. But the camera in the lab has been disabled for some reason. 

Sam:  
And all the others are working?

Daisy nods. She sits back, pushing the laptop to them. 

Daisy:  
Figure that one out, Ghost-Buster. 

Sam and Coulson tense as something pops up on the screen. 

Fitz:  
Hello? Daisy? Can you hear me?

Daisy:  
Fitz? How did you – 

Fitz:  
Doesn’t matter – I haven’t got a lot of time before Metatron gets back. 

Coulson:  
What’s going on over there? We’re seeing some strange behaviours at our end. 

On the screen, Fitz grins. 

Fitz:  
It was Jemma’s idea. They don’t know a lot about tech, especially not as advanced as SHIELD stuff, and they think we’re wizards. 

Daisy:  
Like, actual wizards? Harry Potter wizards?

Fitz:  
Yep. Jemma convinced them that Chamomile tea gives them significantly improved reaction time. 

Sam:  
And the sleep masks?

Fitz:  
They’re ‘Earl Grey Sensory Enhancers’. After a few words of Latin, they improve all your senses except sight. 

Coulson:  
Fitz, this is brilliant. We were worried they’d have the whole SHIELD arsenal at their disposal, but if they don’t know how to use it, it won’t matter. 

Fitz:  
That’s the thing. They’re starting to see through our scam. I don’t know how long it’ll be before they work it out. 

Sam:  
Is there some place you and Simmons could hide? 

Fitz:  
I’ll need a little help on your end. Daisy, do you remember how we set up the remote management on the containment rooms?

Daisy:  
I’ll dig out the schematics. 

Coulson:  
We’re almost ready for a take-back mission. Hang in there, Fitz. 

INT., The Bunker – Dean’s room, Day  
Dean sits on his bed, sharpening a knife.  
Sam knocks on the door, then walks in. 

Dean:  
There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to finish your damn meeting all day!

Sam:  
I’m here now, aren’t I? There’s something I need to tell you about. 

Dean:  
There’s something I need to tell you about. 

Sam:  
Mine’s probably more important. 

Dean:  
Yeah, but mine’s more annoying. 

Sam:  
Does it involve the stone-faced agent you’ve been trying to swoon?

Dean:  
Forget about swooning – I’m still trying to have a conversation! But every time I get close, some bratty agent pulls me away!

Sam:  
I think it’s a sign, Dean. 

Dean:  
Yeah, one that says ‘Warning: Bureaucracy Ahead. Danger of Brain-Death.’

Sam:  
I’ll agree that our methods don’t mesh well, but you have to admit, they’re good at what they do. 

Dean:  
And it just so happens that ‘what they do’ is mess things up. 

Sam:  
But we haven’t been helping matters. They were just doing what they thought was best. They’re not hunters. 

Dean:  
So they should stay out of hunting business. 

Sam:  
Whether they like it or not, they’re in it now. The least we can do is give them a helping hand. 

Dean:  
Why, Sam? We got Cas back, my leg’s healing up, and we know that Metatron won’t be bothering us for a while. I say we quit. 

Sam:  
I say we use this situation to our advantage. 

Dean raises an eyebrow. 

Sam:  
Just hear me out. Coulson’s planning to take back his base, killing as many angels as he can in the process. 

Dean:  
What happened to their no-kill policy?

Sam:  
Things changed when they got chucked out their base. But if we help them now, imagine the kind of protection we could get from having a government organisation in our debt. No more pretending to be agents, no more arrests – 

Dean:  
Yeah, I get the picture. But how do you know they won’t just hand us over to the feds after this is all over?

Sam:  
We make a deal. 

Dean:  
Oh no. 

Sam:  
Our expertise in exchange for lifetime legal protection. 

Dean sighs. 

Dean:  
You told Coulson about this?

Sam:  
Not yet. 

Dean:  
Well don’t. I want to see the look on his face when we do. 

INT., The Bunker – Spare Room, Evening  
Mack paces up and down his room, waiting for someone on the phone to pick up. 

Yo-Yo: (over the phone)  
Hello? Mack?

Mack:  
Hey! It’s me. How are you?

Yo-Yo:  
I can’t wait to see you again. Being in hiding is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds.

Mack:  
It doesn’t sound like a lot. Anyway, listen, I called you because there’s a problem that’s been bugging me. 

Yo-Yo:  
Go right ahead, Turtle-Man. 

Mack:  
Alright, don’t ask me to explain any of it, but the base has been taken over by a group of people who call themselves angels. 

Yo-Yo:  
I’ve heard stranger things. Especially at SHIELD.

Mack:  
But the thing is, I’m starting to believe it. They’re clearly not from Earth. 

Yo-Yo:  
Could be aliens. 

Mack:  
Most aliens we’ve met have been pretty forthcoming with that bit of information. 

Yo-Yo:  
They’re still trying to take over the world, though, right?

Mack:  
It’s complicated. They certainly see humans as beneath them. And they have powers, too. They can teleport, and when they’re killed, their eyes glow. 

Yo-Yo:  
OK, but what’s the problem?

Mack:  
If they are angels, what does that make me if I kill them? They’re servants of God. The one we have here calls himself an angel of the Lord. 

Yo-Yo:  
He does? That’s a little unnerving. 

Mack:  
Exactly! So what am I supposed to do? They’re the bad guys, but what’s God going to think when I get up there, and it turns out I stabbed a load of His servants?

Yo-Yo:  
It’s a tricky one. But I think God would want you to do what you always do: save as many lives as you can. 

Mack:  
Even if that means killing angels?

Yo-Yo:  
They don’t sound much like angels to me. 

Mack:  
I guess not. Thanks, Yo-Yo. You always know what to say. 

Yo-Yo:  
Don’t thank me. I just tell you what you already know. 

Mack laughs. 

Mack:  
I’ll see you soon, OK? Once all this is over, I’m taking a special trip over there. 

Yo-Yo:  
I’ll believe you when I see you. 

Mack puts down the phone, smiling. 

INT., The Playground – Coulson’s Office, Evening  
An angel with Yo-Yo as a vessel hangs up from the phone call. Metatron, sat at the desk, eyes her expectantly. 

Metatron:  
Well?

Yo-Yo Vessel:  
They’re coming for us. Soon, I think. 

Metatron:  
What’s their plan? What do they know about us?

Yo-Yo Vessel:  
I’m not sure, but he sounded confident. Castiel is with them. 

Metatron:  
That snivelling weasel! We’ll be ready for them when they come. And Castiel can watch as we destroy them all. 

Yo-Yo Vessel:  
And then we kill him, right?

Metatron:  
Obviously. 

INT., The Bunker – War Room, Evening  
All the agents, the Winchesters, Castiel and Balthazar are gathered around, some sitting around the table, others standing close by. 

Coulson:  
Everyone listen up. Tomorrow we’re going to try something nobody’s tried before: we’re going to ambush some angels. 

Castiel:  
Sam and Dean have in fact tried that before. It did not end well. 

Hunter:  
Well that’s reassuring. 

Coulson:  
If anyone can pull it off, it’s us. 

Dean:  
With a lot of help from us. 

Sam:  
Yes, we need to talk about that actually, Coulson. 

Coulson:  
Alright, but after I’ve finished giving my super-motivational speech. It’s kind of my thing. 

Daisy:  
He is really good at them. 

Coulson:  
Thanks. The mission’s not easy. We’re facing a superior force, in a more defensible position, and they also have hostages. 

Hunter:  
I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what motivational means. 

Bobbi:  
Shut up, Hunter, he’s getting to it. 

Coulson:  
But we have something they don’t have: teamwork. They may be an army of celestial beings or whatever, but they’re only motivated by one thing, and I’m sorry to bring it up, but it’s killing you, Castiel. 

Castiel:  
That is indeed true. 

Coulson:  
Yes we want our base back, but we also want to rescue our friends, and stop these rogue angels before they kill anyone else. 

Dean:  
That’s great, but we’ve tried this before, and it didn’t exactly end well. Especially for me. 

Coulson:  
But now we’re on home turf. With Sam’s help, we think we’ve come up with a winning strategy. 

Balthazar:  
Does part of that strategy include me standing well back from the fighting and cheering you on? Because if it doesn’t, I think it should. 

Sam:  
I’ll give you fair warning, Balthazar: you’re not going to like this. 

Coulson:  
For this to work, everyone’s got to play their part. It’s not going to be easy, but then, it never is, is it?

Daisy:  
Amen to that, sister. 

Coulson:  
Alright, so here’s how it’s going to go down. 

End of Episode 2


End file.
